June 7, 2006
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Intimacy
Everybody wants intimacy. We long for intimacy because we don’t want to be alone. We’d like to have at least someone whom we can trust, to whom we can open all our wounds because the wounds cannot heal unless they are open. At the same time, we’d also like the other person to be intimate with us. We’d like him to become vulnerable, drop his defenses, masks, and open his wound to us.
We all have needs: to be needed, to be loved, and to be accepted. But we don’t want to accept that. We are not what we appear to be. We live like pretentious hypocrites. This is why we fear intimacy. Everybody is afraid of intimacy. We want to be intimate with the other person but we are not dropping our defenses. We don’t want to come in utter nudity and sincerity with the other person.
So unless we drop our repressions, inhibitions, and other taboos, we will never be intimate with someone. But before we can even attempt intimacy with someone, we will have to attempt intimacy with ourselves. We must accept ourselves in our totality, in spite of what were taught. If we cannot accept ourselves totally, how can someone else accept us? Our acceptance and openness with ourselves will help others to accept themselves and to open to us. We will find out that not only we are full of weaknesses but others too are full of weaknesses. We will find that beauty is not of being strong, but of being fragile.
Are you ready to be an open book, available for all to read?
Comments (13)
The fourth basic need is food … you forgot that …lolz … ok, where is that Fiona …hahaha
and ice cream… man can not live without ice cream.
I tell my daughter that if she presents a false image to get someone to love her, than what the other person loves is the image and she will still be without love. Having the courage to just be ourselves is sometimes difficult because we fear rejection and hurt. But it is the only way to ever have that love we long for. (That statement sounds so easy, but it really isn’t)
yep, but my book is very boreing!!!!
At my age I have seen a lot done a little, and life has been grand!
Honestly, I don’t know. There are parts of myself that I hide. But on second thought, my wife knows all about those parts. hm. There’s a book; Radical Honesty, that suggests we never lie about anything and to always tell the whole truth. I love the idea of not hiding anything but there is such a fear of being rejected if I am totaly honest. Interesting….. Thanks for this post. I’ve got some work to do. Back to The Work!
My life is usually an open book, but I still wind up getting hurt anyway. I have to learn not to take offense when my love is taken for granted.
I am one of those people that are an open book, it gets me in trouble when someone asks you a question and they know the answer by the way you act. Therefore I hate it when women ask me “does this make me look fat?”
What I am writing about probably misses the entire point of your post, so I am just going to stop now.
You raise a good question. I am thinking. Have a good day chi..
Everyone hides part of themselves. That does not mean everyone is afraid of degrees of intimacy. It is just the degree. Judi
We are afraid to be an open book because we are afraid no one will like the story.
Awesome post!
Intimacy–my favorite thing.
To truly give, to truly receive, we need to have that trust and connection of intimacy. Without it, we are a maze of walls and doors to enter and bang against. Intimacy allows us inside, and lets others inside of us…our own inner gardens. Entertaining others in our personal gardens takes trust, and some people just don’t have it.
Myself, i need this, as a part of my deeper feeling. The connection runs too deep, to pretend intimacy is not needed, cultivated, and developed in trust. I developed it first within myself, and now–I reach out for it in others.
Great post! You’ve brought up some really good points…