February 2, 2006
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The Soul-Mate
A soul-mate relationship is a mature loving relationship. It requires good communication skills, generally learned through the forgiveness process from the previous, less conscious relationships.
The soul-mate cannot manifest until there is honesty and clarity in all of our relationships. If we are abandoning a previous marriage partner or our children in order to be with a new lover, we might as well face the facts. We cannot find the soul-mate by abandoning any other human being. We must be right with all of our relationships. We must speak the truth fearlessly, but with great gentleness and compassion. Others need to know where we stand. They need to know how our commitment to them has changed and how it has remained the same. We show our love for them by keeping no secrets, by full disclosure of our thoughts and feelings. We treat them as we would like to be treated if the situation were reversed. And so we are able to move on without abandoning, without acting in a careless, impulsive manner.
Genuine love for one person never results in unkind behavior toward another. If we were not kind to the other in the past, it is time to revise our commitments. We can enter the process of revision with respect and concern for the other, as well as with clarity about what we want. Where decision making with the previous partner was difficult and characterized by the ego struggle, decision making with the soul-mate is without effort.
Until we have learned to listen to our guidance, we will not meet our soul-mate. Indeed, the discovery of our soul mate happens because we are internally directed toward him or her. When we meet, we recognize the fact internally. We “know” in every cell of our being. As we enter the path of self-healing and self discovery, there is more potential to sacred union. We come together with the other as equal. We radiate mutual trust and respect. We radiate shared purpose and commitment without sacrifice. We demonstrate what it means to hold a safe and loving, non-judgmental space for one another.
How do you define a soul-mate relationship?
Comments (14)
Normally I agree with you and I support your sentiment. However I think a soul mate is our mate irrespective of the present moment relationships. I do not think yo have to leave your marriage if you found a soul mate outside of your marriage. Whether you are married or not, committed or not – if your soul mate is entering your life it will overide any existing relationship. Meeting your soul mate might be one of the most challenging period of time in your life. I think you can and will meet your soul mate irrespective of existing relationships and commitments. The very essence of soul mate says to me that meeting is set to happen. We have the choice how we want to act when it happens.
I totally agree! Something I have failed in the past, *sighs* I guess I’m yet still learning…
You are singing my song–I would love for my ex to read this!
Although I’m still debating within myself the existence of “The One True Love” in one’s life, I do believe that we have people who resonate at the same level we do. I have resonated with a lot of people in my life, but only a few have truly “gotten” to me–where I feel that natural connection (and no, I never felt that with my ex, unfortunately).
Beautiful post. Thank you.
I think you explained it very well.
Soul mates are often not what we imagine they are the people who can teach us the highest spiritual lessons sometimes these are the hardest relationships to make work, Judi
I like a lot of what you wrote. I agree with Zeal though.
i dont believe that this is a once in a lifetime only one person deal as some do. I just think of it as a very deep connection that people often think only comes once a lifetime
I like what Zeal says here, but I don’t think there can be genuine love for one if there’s disdain for another. It’s not the way love works. Some things aren’t situational like that. It’s like seeing people at their most real when they don’t know you’re watching. Interesting to think about.
For whatever it’s worth, I feel that a necessary characteristic of love is a choice of committment and sacrifice. Making a choice to love someone comes with the good and the bad. Choosing to be with someone the rest of your life should not be taken lightly or with quick emotional impulse. But once the decision is made it is a sacrificial committment. Times may become very rough, but love does not count wrongs. Love is unconditional. If someone crosses your path, who breathes like you do, who dreams like you do and who clicks with you, it may be a day that you may grieve. But love is not about connecting with someone like you. Love is about a choice of commitment, service and sacrifice.
A mentor of mine and a great leader, has a multi-cultural church in LA. There are 70+ nationalities represented in his congregation. When he was asked to consult with a predominantly caucasian congregation of 5,000 middle class members concerning several areas, the leaders asked him how he was able to create such a diverse culture. He told them simply that his congregation just simply loves people. They were somewhat confused and said that they loved people. Then he asked each of them if they had served and loved people different from them, and he didn’t mean someone who was poor (black or hispanic, etc) whom they had pity on. He asked them if they had any deeper relationships with soomeone who was black or Asian or of some different culture. None of them answered yes. Being drawn to somone who is like you or who is easy to be with is not love. This can be a form of narcisisism, but not necessarily love. No, love can truly be seen when we choose to love people, who are more difficult for us and less comfortable or drawing for us to love. That is true love.
Now with all of this being said. I don’t recommend that a single person go and seek out the most difficult person in the world to marry. I also don’t believe that love is void of emotion either. Caring and deep emotion toward someone can be a sign of love. I think that it is important to find someone that is compatible for us…say a soul mate. Someone who we emotionally are drawn to and attracted to can be a good sign that we should be with that person. This is the best case scenerio. After all we are just human and we can handle only so much. But people change and our judgments are not always keen, when the joyful tingling emotions are strong toward someone in the begining. So when we find out later down the road that the person we committed our life to is not actually our soul mate, but rather very difficult to be with, this is where are ability to love truly is truly tested. This will test our committment and we may have the choice to sacrifice or abandon. Think of God’s love toward us, even when we are not faithful.
Of course we are all human and after all it is a difficult proposition to truly love. God is always forgiving, when we seek Him, no matter the issue. Yet this is our calling to truly love sacrificially and unconditionally.
A Soul Mate, in my understanding has to be explained like this:
First, I believe in reincarnation. That is to say that, like God, our Soul is, was and ever shall be. Before we come into the earth, our Soul chooses everything for us (regardless of whether we remember any of it is besides the point). We choose our existing parents, siblings and situations we are in be it economically, socially, educational and country we are from.
Second, in a previous lifetime or when we are in the ‘neverland’ (some call it heaven, other’s just call it a different spiritual plane) we may decide to involve ourselves with another soul and agree that in our next lifetime that we should team up and become the closest of friends, teachers/student relationships, and even lovers.
One can argue with me and say how would we know when we have met him and her – and I would respond that we would just know. Call it intuition, call it magic, but it’s just an unexplaniable recognition.
One could also argue with and say what if we are in two separate countries and never meet. But you would meet, somehow someway – call it destiny, call it fate…but inevitable the meeting would occur.
Should you leave your current partner/wife/husband for this person? Well, isn’t that just entirely up to you. Free will, it’s alway about free will.
soul mate .. i don’t really know how to define it but …. i gotta say — it’s my husband & what i have with him.
my relationship with him is amazing!!!! it’s not perfect & that leaves space for growth & learning in a deeper manner & … we do balance each other in many ways. my strengths are his weaknesses & my weaknesses are his strengths so we teach each other. when we discuss different topics like how we grew up, finances & all that stuff that occurs on a daily basis, we find ourselves pooling information & ideas that we would like to impart to our children. having him in my life is comforting & empowering!
what more can one ask from a mate … or from another person???
I thought I found a soulmate once..
if only we can always think like this in every situation without letting our own ego take hold of that thought, then constant stability would never be an obstacles.. nevertheless, we are always a working art. so i’m up for it. thanks for setting the bar, sweetie. happy wed =)
I have been intelligent for hours and I haven’t gone through such awesome stuff.
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