May 16, 2007
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Admitting the Mistakes
Why is it so hard to some of us to admit our mistakes? I look back at my life and I too rarely say “I’m sorry,” especially to my children. To the ego, saying “I’m sorry” is like draining the air out of a tire. And because I didn’t admit my mistake (confess), I held onto my guilt and continued to rationalize or justify my mistake. I covered it up. This got exhausted and, after a while, I disliked myself.
When Jesus invited us to confess our sin, he meant for us to admit that we have made mistakes. It was an opportunity to be humble and learn. It was not an invitation for blame and punishment. He tried to help us realized that being “wrong” is not bad. We are not condemned by our error. It was just being human. We all make mistakes. That is just the way it is. The hammer is not going to drop by the God of the Old Testament. Jesus wants us to know that God is not an angry God. He doesn’t want to punish us. He just wants to help us learn from your mistakes and we can’t learn if we don’t admit our error.
I pay more visits the halls of confessions these days. When I know I am wrong, I admit it. Apologize. Make amends. I ask for forgiveness. If I can’t admit it face to face, I’d write an email. If the person is not very forgiving, then I know that I have done my part in forgiving myself. I have to accept the facts that this person is not going to forgive me at this time. I give him some space to heal. I let go and let God. It takes a lot of courage to tell the truth. I am surprised to see how easy it is for people to forgive me when I am honest and take responsibility for correcting my mistakes. I found that I make more friends than the time I was denying my guilt. Maybe it’s not so terrible to be wrong. May I can be wrong and still be a good person.
Sometimes it’s wrong to be right. I can really beat someone else up with the truth. Self righteous behavior does that. And sometimes it is right to be wrong, because I become humble and willing to learn.
Comments (4)
Wow. You finally get a chance to update!! I really like your thinking about it. Thanks for sharing. I learn
Hello Trim, it has been a long time since your last post, and glad to see what you have written. I to have the same problem and it only involves one person, my ex-wife, although I want completely forgive, I cannot forget the things she has done to me for no apparent reason. I only hang on to this nightmare for the sake of the little girl I love very much, only because it was I who raised her and have taken care of her for ten (10) years not knowing the truth. The love has developed, and there is nothing I would not do. The mother was playing the game behind my back for 14 years, and seems to think there is nothing wrong with what she has done, now she lives with another man, not married, and still playing the same stupid game…..So should I forgive and forget, will God blame, or hold this against me? I made every effort to forgive, every now and then we get together for the sake of the little girl and have dinner, I go to her boyfriends house and join them for dinner, bar-b-que and what have you…the little girl would like for me to return….but I live with a nightmare, I lost my house, money, and personal pride….how can I forget after working so damm hard nearly all my life, and every goal become a reality, and then see it all go up in smoke….I am still trying to deal with the problem, and until I find another girl in my life, it will just continue to be a memory, and something I will have to deal with.
It is hard to say we are sorry. It takes a certain humbling of ourselves that most of us reject.
Well, don’t know why, but my parents never apologized to us even when they’re dead wrong. It’s hard to apologize already, let alone to your children. It’s even harder to apologize when you think you’re right. Everything takes practice, I think. Kinda like making a path in the jungle, it’s always hard the first few times.