April 13, 2006

• The Signals Send – Positive and Negative

  
  

   If you would like to find out what type of personality best described you, double click here.  

  
  

  One – The Perfectionist

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Ones challenge you to correct action and effort. You can count on their keeping their promises and accepting responsibility to make things right.  The buck stops there.  They value right action for its own sake without expectation of benefits.  Virtue is its own reward.  They can inspire you with, and show you, the joy of a job well done.  Perfection of skills, effort, and character can lead to self-reliance and an independent life.  They project ethical idealism and push to embody the ideal.  Making the world a better place.  In touch with the practical areas of life:  health, honesty, right livelihood, good fun.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  The One’s criticality and the superior stance make you feel inferior, rejected, and alienated.  Feels like you seldom get it right.  Ones always see room for improvement.  Criticism is a kind of compliment, a proof of caring.  “We should try for perfection.”  Emotions have to be controlled.  Perfectionism sidetracks pleasure and spontaneity. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Ones

  
  

  ·        Emily Post, Ralph Waldo Emerson, Mary Poppins, George Bernard Shaw, Charles Dickens, jerry Falwell, Martin Luther.

  
  

  ·      Ynottw

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Two – The Giver

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Two make you feel special, that you’re worth it, you’re worth the time.  Being helped and considered.  Romantic meetings.  Sensitive care.  There’s magical quality in relating.  A story book flavor.  Twos represent your interests.  They interface with people you need to know.  Your prospects are kept alive.  Twos send a signal of exuberant aliveness.  Energetic and expressive.  Willfully and willing.  Two will do for others what others normally do for themselves.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  You may experience Twos as dependent.  They want a lot of your time.  The ongoing demand for emotional excitement can be draining.  You’re expected to be inspiring.  You’re expected to confide.  Feeling nudged into their agenda.  Wondering who calls the shots.  Once you were wonderful, now you’re less intriguing.  You feel that your life has been subtly rearranged.

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Twos 

  
  

  ·        Madonna, Elvis Presley, Elizabeth Taylor, Mary Magdalene, Jerry Lewis, Dolly Pardon.

  
  

  ·        PilgrimOfTruth, shrek_azn, insertcreativeusername, gentlefootprint, chelseathi,  momofjenmatt 

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Three – The Performer

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Threes project an optimistic worldview.  “We can make it happen.”  You’ll find them enthusiastic and encouraging.  There is hope in action.  They come across a highly practical, dedicated to the goal, to the team, to the family, to a result.  Performers can be dedicated leaders: you can count on them to take responsibility, to stay with it, to be willing to do the most.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  You may Perceive that the Three doesn’t care about you, especially about your feelings.  Threes can look artificial or superficial because they change to give the crowd what it wants.  Things and goals may matter more than people to them.  Difficulty in relaxing, in letting go, being on vacation.  As a Three cuts corners on relationship time, softening truth with partial truths, you can feel manipulated by a Three’s accomplishment agenda.  Threes can let personal friends disappear, while work friends stay.

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Threes

  
  

  ·      Werner Erhard, Ronald Reagan, Walt Disney, Farrah Fawcett, John F. Kennedy.

  
  

  ·      stran13, anonymouswish

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Four – The Tragic Romantic

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Four conduct their lives as works of art and create art to express their lives.  Dedicated to passion, they draw you into the cycle of love and hate, creativity and pain.  They want your feelings.  They plunge you into emotional depths.  They can immerse you in every dimension of feeling.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  Fours can make you feel that you aren’t enough, that you’re not quite worthy of their attentions.  Something you’ve done has failed the Four.  If you were different, they would be happy.  It’s your fault.  You get resistance when you try to help and feel guilty that you haven’t done more.  You feel hurt and alienated by Four’s sarcastic rejection in the push-away phase of intimacy.  You have to pick up the pieces of recurrent crisis cycle.  Their feelings take priority to yours. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Fours

  
  

  ·        Martha Graham, Keats, Shelley, Alan Watts, Joni Mitchell, Orson Welles, Bette Davis, Joan Baez, Marlon Brando

  
  

  ·        NightComesOn, yet_still_learning, ronlawhouston

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Five – The Observer

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Appreciative of an unencumbered lifestyle, Fives bring a delicacy of perception to relationship.  Scholarly, knowing, and thoughtful, a voyager in the realms of mind.  Fives are sensitive in their tastes.  Ascetic and aesthetic.  A single cushion in an empty room.  A delicate sliver of something to eat.  Dispassionate and calm in crisis.  The one who others can safely confide.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  Partners may feel frozen out by Fives.  You feel unconnected, neglected.  The five’s on going privacy needs feel like signals of rejection.  The burden of initiation and confrontation fall on you.  The Five’s self-control reads as hoarding time, space, energy, and access to themselves.  You get signal of superiority and secrecy—intellectual arrogance, an appearance of being above emotional expression and beyond the need to explain. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Fives

  
  

  ·        J. Paul Getty, Emily Dickinson, Jeremy Irons, The Buddha, Meryl Streep, Franz Kafka.

  
  

  ·       stran13, jassmine

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Six – The Trooper

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Sixes exhibit strong loyalty to the trusted few, the cause, the protector, and friends.  They keep faith with the powerless, with those who are afraid.  The Six plays the devil’s advocate; daring to question.  You’ll find Sixes creative thinkers, with discriminating minds and refined powers of imagination.  Troopers can be steadfast in their commitments while remaining fully aware of their partner’s negative tendencies.  They love who you are, not your image.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  Sixes tend to engage in projection—reading things into relationships that aren’t there; to control through overprotectiveness—securing the bunker, wanting to be safe; not to inform others about changes in thinking or to report doubt attacks.  They’re ambivalent about things turning out well, which leads to procrastination, avoidance, and history of incompletion.  Difficulties with authority are expressed in both submission and rebellion.  Expect contrary thinking: ”Yes, but…”; taking the opposite view.

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Sixes 

  
  

  ·        Woody Allen, Godon Liddy, Krishnamurti, Jane Fonda, Rev. Jim Jones, Sherlock Holmes, Hitler (counterphobic), Hamlet (phobic)

  
  

  ·         mbbrad4d, twoberry

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Seven – The Epicure

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Playful and positive.  Imaginative and inventive.  Daily tasks are infused with pleasure; a fascinating approach to life.  Significants are buoyed by optimistic visions of the future and encouraged to accept their full potential.  Sevens can make the ordinary seem extravagant and bountiful.  Simple walks in the park can become points of convergence for cycles of nature and the seasons.  The laughter of a child expands through time and space. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  Sevens’ narcissistic preoccupation with personal agendas and pleasures makes them seem uncaring or unreliable.  You begin to feel inferior to a Seven.  The Seven is open-minded and spontaneous, but you’re narrow-minded and attached.  Anger, depression, and other so-called negative emotions mark you as a lesser being; if you were more evolved, you wouldn’t feel that way.  When Sevens feel threatened, they take a superior stance.  Your opinions are a mark of lesser vision.

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Sevens

  
  

  ·        Zonker, Ram Dass, Thoreau, Peter Pan, Kurt Vonnegut, Groucho Marx, Rajneesh, Tom Robbins.

  
  

  ·        lennbell,  momofjenmatt, ronet41

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Eight – The Boss

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  Eights can offer incredible support to their loved ones.  They want to empower people, to test and to trust; to trust you enough to become a part of their lives.  They bring excitement and intensity to a relationship.  They invite you to the life force, to plug into the juice.  They move forward into contact and are willing to explore the domains of pleasure and satisfaction.  They are courageous, determined, and persistent, fair minded, truthful, straightforward, and unpretentious.  What you see is what you get.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  They defend their excessive behavior by denial and anger, often with a counteraccusation to the significant—“I’m not a controlling person, but you are,”  “I don’t make trouble, but you do.”  Eights can take over through intimidation and intrusion.  They can transgress boundaries when their misdirected sense of justice leads to violations of rights and property.  Eights can punish the people they love, and when denial lifts, they also punish themselves without mercy.  Blame turns inward when they see their own role in their difficulties. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Eights

  
  

  ·        Henry VIII, Fritz Perls, Gurdjieff, Madame Blavatsky, Pablo Picasso, Sean Penn, Nietzsche, Eldridge Cleaver, Garfield the Cat.

  
  

        ·      TheTheologiansCafe, trimtab  

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Nine – The Mediator

  
  

   

  
  

  Positive Signal

  
  

  You’ll experience Nines supporting the lives of others as their own.  They are caring and attentive, often aware of what is essentially good about other people.  Giving, compromising, adaptive, and receptive.  Highly productive and happy when on track. Welcoming a safe structure.  A bulwark in other people’s lives.  Able to offer nonjudgmental regard.

  
  

   

  
  

  Negative Signal

  
  

  Nines often seem passive aggressive and stubborn, as missing the point, or detached, even out of it.  Their dispersion of energy and focus makes it look like “everything” is equally important, which makes you feel unimportant.  Nines will seem to be in agreement when they may not be.  They want to keep things comfortable, to give what’s familiar, which may not be what you really need.  You’ll see them space-out or move into substitutes for real needs: TV, food, habits that drain energy and slow the relationship down. 

  
  

   

  
  

  Famous Nines

  
  

  ·        US Postal Service, Julia Child, Luciano Pavarotti, Buckminister Fuller, Oblavmov, Eisenhowser, Alfred Hitchcock, Ringo Starr.

  
  

  ·        infinitezone1, Zeal4living, gentlefootprint,  momofjenmatt

  
  

   

  
  

   

  
  

  Notes from The Enneagram in Love and Work by Helen Palmer.

  
  

   

  
  

   

  • 10:17 am
  • 11 Comments