December 29, 2006

• Control¹

   

  Control is forcing events and people into your way of doing things.  Control is the great mass of insecurity.  People who use this behavior are deathly afraid of letting others be who they are so the controller is constantly making demands that keep others off balance.  The underlying idea is “if they keep paying attention to me, they won’t run away.” 

   

  When you find yourself making excuses for yourself and blaming others or when you feel inside that no one is showing you enough gratitude or appreciation, the fault is not with them.  You are exhibiting a need to control.  The external of this behavior comes from those who are trying to control.  They are tense and resistant.  They complaint of not being listened to.  They call you a “perfectionist” or “demanding boss.” 

   

  Control begins to end when you admit your way isn’t automatically the right way.  You can tune in for your need to control by capturing yourself complaining, blaming, or insisting no one is right but you and coming up with one excuse after another to prove that you are without blame yourself.  Once you stop control them, the people around you begin to breath easy.  They relax and laugh.  They feel free to be who they are without looking to you for approval. 

   

  Can you recognize this trait in you?   

   

  1.  From The Book of Secrets by Deepak Chopra. 

   

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