December 27, 2006
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Emotions
One of the many descriptions some people give me is ”lack of emotions.” The description mainly come from the people who are extremely emotional in both end of the spectrum (positive and negative).
There is some truth to this, however it is not entirely truth. Though I don’t wallow in my emotions, I do experience them. They are deeper than the one that can be physically expressed. My emotions can be obscured but they have no opposites. To accuratley described, they are more of my states of being than emotions. People who are drawn to me recognize in me what they already have in them; even in my sadness, they sense the emanation of love, joy, and peace.
Most of us are more familiar with emotional patterns that are egoic-based. Egoic-based emotions are emotions generated by the ego. They have opposites. For these emotions, there is no good without bad, no high without low. I have observed most people emotional patterns. Sometimes, I recogize some of these patterns in me. In my observation, I see that these emotional patterns are quite unstable. They change in a switch of a second. Here are just a few of my observation:
- The so called love is but possessiveness and addicted clinging that can turn into hate in a switch of a second if the the ego didn’t get what it wants.
- People in this egoic emotional state get very happy and excited (almost comical) about an upcoming event and when the event is over they get very sad and disappointed. And if the event doesn’t fulfill their ego’s expectation, the disappointment gets even greater.
- They feel alive and happy when they get phrases and recognitions and feel unhappy and unworthy when someone criticizes and ignores them.
There is nothing wrong with expressing emotions with opposites, if suffering is what people choose. I choose to experience my emotions directly without opposites.
How do you deal with your emotions? Do you directly experience your emotions? Or do you express or wallow or repress your emotions?
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