November 8, 2006
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The mirror and its image
At the root of all desire and fear is the feeling of not being what you are.
SRI MAHARAJ
If I am on the search for self-realization, it seems to make sense that I should have relationships with others to help me to come to know myself. Relationships with things, situations, and people reflect back what I like or don’t like about me; like a mirror reflects the image. But for this to work, I must know what I represent: the mirror or the image? But how do I know if I am the mirror or the image since I don’t really know who or what I am to start with? How do I know if the mirror is not defected and gives false images of who I am?
So am I the image or the mirror or both or neither? The mirror reflects the image, but the image does not improve the mirror nor does the mirror improve the image. Am I not what I see? Am I neither the image nor the mirror, but a seer of the reflection in the mirror? Or am I both the image and the mirror?
Who or what am I then? How can I separate myself in the mirror and stand completely alone, all by myself? There are so many things I am doing without knowing how to do it. I regulate my digestions, blood circulations, muscle reflection, feel, see, think without knowing why or how. I am myself without knowing. I am what make perception possible. Who I am cannot be answer in the words. Even uttering the phrase ‘I am’ is false.
So now what? Having seen that I am neither the image (outer world of perceivable) nor the mirror (inner world of thinkable), that I am neither body nor mind, what am I expected to do? Should I continue to waste my time and energy on a search to find myself (self-realization) in my relationships with others or just be myself? But I can not ‘be myself’ because I do not know myself.
I am settling for just ‘be’ at this time.
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