August 24, 2006
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Separation Awareness
Relationship is a mystery. It is constantly changing. When I try to analyze it, or try to make it fit to my picture of the way it should be, that is to say not accepting it for the way it is, I feel the separation. Separation happens all the time. It is happening every time I want to change my partner or want to make my relationship different than the way it is. When I move out of the “is” space and focus on the “should be,” the separation feeling is almost inevitable. Usually I don’t notice until separation builds and hurt triggers. If I am wise, I’d stay in the present moment and move with it. But the nature of my ego is to find fault with my experience, to compare it to some unattainable ideal. It says what happens isn’t good enough.
So my spiritual practice calls me to challenge every unloving thought I have about myself, my partner, and other people. And as long as these thoughts go unchallenged, I will continue to feel separate from myself, my partner, and others.
Comments (5)
Separation anxiety! It’s painful for a while, but then you get used to the “is” and it’s peaceful.
again trim… a great post. I still feel the rip. Funny too… you know it’s gonna come. You know when it’s here. You know it’s gone…. but not quite eh? Cause there wouldn’t be that feeling otherwise. *sigh*
I really enjoy your ponderings.
Excellent insite on yourself and most other people. Relationships are in a constant flux as the wind. Sometimes hard, sometimes soft, sometimes from one direction and sometimes from another but ever present. My husband and I have been together for 25 years and for me if I remember I love the man and do not necessarily need to love the mood, understanding just happens and it makes it easier to harness the wind. ~ mom
i really enjoyed that post; thank you. and thanx for visiting my site. peace and love, always.
That relationships are always changing, evolving poses a dilemma. Do you think relationships have a life of their own, hence the need to accept them for what they are instead of trying to influence what they become? I personally don’t see my life and experiences as a pre-written story to unfold during the course of my lifetime. I see my life as a book where I get to share in the authorship… as well as those who are a part of my life also have pen in hand to write the story in real time as it unfolds. From this view is a relationship a relationship at all if each party has no vested interested in taking the pen in hand and writing the story?