July 2, 2006
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Why is it so hard to let go of the things that are causing us pain?
If we look deeply, we’ll see that the things that are causing us pain also give us pleasures. We will find that they give us something we would like to have. Maybe it is only a hope or a promise for tomorrow. We cling on with the hope that what we desired from them is going to happen. If they are only pure pain, then we’d dropped them without asking this very question.
Take jealousy for example. For centuries we have been told that lovers are jealous. Jealousy becomes an intrinsic part of love. If we want to love, we have to accept our jealousy and the pain that created by it, especially when our lover leaves us for another person. And our cunning mind is very clever in finding rationalization. It will say, “It is natural to feel jealous.” And it appears natural because everybody else is doing the same. It will say, “It is natural to feel hurt when my lover leaves me because I have loved so much! I have the right to feel hurt. How can I avoid the hurt, the wound, when my lover leaves me?” While we don’t like experiencing the pain that this wound has causes, we are also enjoying our wound too, in a very subtle and unconscious way. Our wound is giving us an idea that we are a great lover and that we have sacrificed our lives for this person, that we love so much, so deeply. And because our love was so profound, that is why we are shattered when our lover left us for another person.
Just watch every kind of pain and we will see either it has some pleasure in it which we are not ready to lose or it has some hope in it which goes on dangling like a carrot on a stick in front of us. And we’ll find some rationalization in it. It looks so close! Why drop it?
Why is it so hard to let go of the things that are causing you pain?
Comments (9)
bad habit
Reading this post made me smile. You have no idea.
Maybe we get too attached to things that gives us pain
If i had a good answer for that, I’d write a book and would be very rich!
But I think you’re on to something there–I think we have hope that this person, or this thing, will eventually become what we want, desire,…or expect.
Because there is something in it for us. Perverse perhaps – but something for us nonetheless.
Another awesome post, Trimtab! Gosh, this one is SOOOoo close to home for me, it is not even funny. I was thinking about this very thing, just yesterday. Why? You know?
Because of the happy memories associated…because of the “hope” as you said, in maybe…because by keeping the pain, I get to keep a part of the person who left with me? I am still mulling this–I just don’t know.
I would love to hear more from you on this. More please!
when i figure that out, i’ll let ya know!
Because we are human.
Because we can’t see.
Because we are just us.
But most of all, because we can’t tell the difference.
Bullyse pointed me this way.
Have a great day girl! I’ll tell my dentist I’m droping him!