April 25, 2006
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Fear of the Unknown
Ron and I had an interesting discussing in our kitchen the other day. He asked me, “Why do people continue to live in conditions that are not desirable?” This is a good question. A child that has been physically abused by his mother still preferred to cling to his mother rather than to an unknown stranger who is trying to protect him from harms. A wife that has been physically abused by her husband still preferred to be with him. A husband that has been mentally and verbally abused by his wife still preferred to stay with her. Why? My answer is fear. Fear of the unknown.
No matter how toxic and terrible the known environments are, we still prefer them to the unknown future. Our ego is terrified of the unknown. We like the feeling of being in controlled. We think we are the one “doing” our life. We think we are the one that have created safety, when in fact our life is like a volcano about to erupt and we cannot control over what happens. We believe that we are powerful, yet we demonstrate again and again our utter powerlessness.
No matter how hard the ego tries, it cannot create safety. The more we seek to control life, the more life will give us the message that it cannot be in controlled. Then we will feel powerless and try harder to control. This is a paradox. It’s a silly game that we cannot win. Yet we can’t stop playing either. Control is an addiction. Control takes many forms and they are endless. Even the attachment to risk-taking is a form of control.
When we begin to realize that we are not the doer, we cease to be the victims. It requires that we simply give up what we think we know. We learn to face the fears of the unknown directly. And, as we do, we discover the gifts and miracles that lie on the other side of our fear.
Comments (14)
We should not fear of the unkown. I think the best part of life is because of the unknown that keeps us going and striving to live and continue learning. If all is known, then there is no purpose of living. Happy Tuesday! =D
I agree that the fear of the unknown, or fear of changes.
Children do that because no matter what, it is still their mother they only mother they know, the only life they know. Adults are often so beaten down they don’t think they deserve better. But yes, it all boils down to fear.
i think it could also due to.. accepting their destiny. They think that’s the life they have and that’s all they got, there’s no way out so they just go w/ whatever already set out on the table. So yes, it’s all come down to fear, fear of changes.
I think people do stay with what is familar even if it is destructive.
I agree.
“When we begin to realize that we are not the doer, we cease to be the victims.”
Just this morning I realized, once again, that I am not the doer, or the thinker, or the feeler, or the believer, but rather that I am the vast expanse beyond thinking, feeling, doing and believing. It’s always a relief to come into that awareness. There is no fear in that vast expanse.
peace
Very well said. Maybe we should let yet_still_learning walks alone in a haunted mansion in the middle of the night….. and see what will her answer be after that? Co’ so*. ma kho^ng? LOLZ. J/K.
Ihihi, you are so funny:)
Who said “We have nothing to fear but fear itself!” Change is the only constant some can’t handel that! Have a good week girl!
again sounds like codependency. The hurts of the heart are hard to heal without help.
Batman the movie really talks about this topic – fear the unknown – u seen it?
BTW, u work with Wish??
ryc: I asked that cuz I saw in ur post it said u had a conversation with Ron, whom Wish mentioned in her xanga to be her old boss ~ probably not the same person =)
Just stumbled across your site and I love it! I’m subscribing. Keep ‘em coming….
~Ann~