August 10, 2006
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Arrogance
Arrogance comes from hanging on to the reference point of me and others. I may be a wonderful daughter, a devoted wife, a good mom, an understanding friend, a generous giver; I may feed the homeless, give money to various organizations, volunteer for activities I deemed important, and regard these as my personal accomplishment, I am missing the point.
Being a good person and doing good things for the community is an act of love and humility. Instead of becoming loving and humble, I could become extremely arrogant. “I trim-tab is a wonderful daughter because I call my parents every week. I am a devoted wife because I attend to my husband’s needs. I am a good mom because I am active in my children’s affairs. I am an understanding friend because I listen with love, kindness, and compassion. I am a generous giver because I give 10% of my earnings to various organizations. I am a good person because feed the homeless and do volunteering activities. I am beginning to accomplish something. I am good. I am better than most of you. ”
The purpose of being a good person and doing good deeds has to do with the concern for others. Concerning for others does not mean comparing our progress against our spouse, brothers, sisters, friends, and neighbors. It does not mean keeping a score board of who’s better or more virtuous. That is not the point. The point is to provide a better place for existence. The point is to communicate our respect, love, kindness, and compassion for others.
Are you comfortable giving yourself without conditioned? Are comfortable giving your time, money, love to your spouse, children, friends, and your community without expecting them to do the same for you? Without your criticisms that they should be like you?
Comments (9)
What? I thought everyone was supposed to be like me! “Gates Foundation gives 500 million to AIDS research.” A wonderful gesture but alao a subtle arrogance. No wonder Jesus talks about doing things in private.
nice post; and yes, love is the only way. peace out. john.
Very deep, chi. !!
I think.. when we look at ourselves in the “light” and compare ourselves with the “light” we see how dark we really are.. at that point its very hard to be proud for our measly accomplishments..
Very nice definition of arrogance and point you’re making.. very much like what the Buddha taught on humility, by prostrating to the respectable Buddhas within ourselves.
Very good entry – You forgot to mention that you are a very good Xangian. Love reading your entries
You certainly voice an important challenge to consider the motivation behind out goodness. Good post!
yes, that is the problem in a nut shell. We walk through the door expecting to receive, or to be treated in a certain way, briefly put, your life is your life, and the life of your partner is his or hers. We are who we are, our behavior and the things we do in life are the subject of our lives, and cannot be changed. If something is to go wrong within the relationship, you must talk about it, and try to understand why it happens, and find a solution to the problem in a calm manner. The problem with this, we are all not so educated to understand behavior, nor patient in trying to resolved the issues…the first thing that come out of our heart is hate, anger, violence, and the final blow…divorce, separation, or breakup….the final consequens is never favorable, and too often we then find it was a mistake, and we begin to long for one another…sometimes it is good if the other partner is still available, and realizes the behavior or act was an act of passion….can we forgive and forget…yes, but too often it is too late…
Wonderful post Trimtab presenting us again with another challenge. Judi