May 30, 2006
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Selfishness
I would like to know what motivate you to help others. What is your goal? What are you going to gain out of it? Why do you feel good about helping others? Do you help them for their own sake or do you help them for your own sake? Do you help them because you want to help yourself by earning the right to enter the
All religions in the world teach the practice of unselfishness by helping, serving, or saving others. Why is there any need for service? I don’t know. Maybe you can help me understand. But unless we come to a point where our “selves” dissolve into the universal, we cannot be truly unselfish. We can pretend, but we will only be hypocrites. Selfishness is part of our nature. We have to accept it. It is because of selfishness that we have survived. Otherwise humanity would have disappeared long ago. Is the orchid selfish when it blooms? Is the sun selfish when it shines? The orchid and the sun have something to share without making extra efforts. Our first and foremost responsibility is to bloom so that we would have something to share.
Comments (9)
This is a tough question because we are all selfish to some degree. We want only what will give us pleasure. Even in giving, we selfishly choose what organization to save or help. My ultimate goal to overcome my selfishness is found in the Bible, Galatians 2:20. “I have been crucified with Christ and I no longer live but Christ lives in me. The life I live in the body, I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave Himself for me.”
Hmmm, a very interesting question. I think we often help others as a way of working on ourselves. I think once we acknowledge our own pain, we begin to have compassion for others who suffer. I agree you cannot have true compassion so long as the “self” is involved.
I could not help but have a desire to help. It is in my being and it is who I am. To serve others as ourselves is a joy that no money can buy. It is when we enlarge our focus from us to including others that we experience God’s presence.
There are many different reasons for helping others.. some selfish..some because its the right thing to do…
I wonder if Mother Theressa dedicated her life to helping others because she was selfesh and wondered what she would get out of it or if because she really understood Gods heart for those in need.
Ynottw, I believe that MT is one of those people that had come to a point where the “self” dissolve into the universal. She gave her love and service like the blooming orchid and the shining sun.
I’m recalling that episode of “Friends” where Joey challenges Phoebe to find a good deed that was unselfish. She let a bee sting her–considered that ‘unselfish’ until she found out the bee probably died!
But seriously, I think there is a selfishness in all of us. We help others to better help mankind, which essentially helps us anyway, right? We want the world to be a better place, but it’s because we’re living in it. Ok, now I’m getting myself confused!
And I agree…Mother Theresa helped the poor not because it would give her a free ride into heaven–she saw Jesus in every person, and all she wanted to do was serve.
You are right about selfishness being part of our nature. It is derived from the self-preservation nature of our consciousness. It is still possible to get rid of it, I think. But it takes discipline and patience. Starting with doing good deeds and charity, I think at the beginning, it’s all about our own ego, arrogance, personal gratification… But the more we do these things, the less it becomes about us since these emotions, feelings lose their satisfying power over time. After a while, we do charity because it’s part of our nature, not b/c it is “charity”. Hope I make sense. I think this point of view is heavily influenced by Buddhism, or at least by its meditation methods. Something I wonder if it’s true, though I never have enough patience to test. lol…
Excellent entry! It indeed made me think.
Well. I’ve been thinking about this for a couple of days now. I don’t think I have a good answer for you.
I’m not worried about any of the typical afterlife issues. I had an experience when I was very young that left me with no doubt about the existance of something after this life and that it is good. I don’t believe in Hell, except the one we create in our own minds. The experience left me with a strong need to gain knowledge (of all kinds not just spiritual) and with a feeling of something (maybe compassion) for people. Hmm. As a counselor, I know we can kill with kindness, so I try to avoid that trap, but at the same time I have a strong sense that learning to live in/be love is a key part of our reason for being here. So is knowlege and I don’t know why. I try to think, be and do good because in the end I think it is all for an important purpose, but I don’t know what.
Why do I seek? I want to know why? If there is a supreme being/other in us and out there, why does it make knowing the answers so difficult? What are the answers? They may not be knowable? I try to follow that very limited part I know and sort of take things as they come. I don’t consider myself a follower of any particular religion, but I study them all. Each of them has something that clicks for me, like fitting a piece into a larger puzzle. Each also has parts that just don’t make sense with what I feel I’ve learned. I think in a way I’m creating my own religion as I go.
Is my search inherently selfish? Probably. I feel better when I’m searching and practicing what I know. I guess it would be like the excitement of a treasure hunt when you know you’re getting close but just aren’t there yet.
Why is there a need for service when selfishness is a part of our nature? I don’t know. Perhaps it is a yin/yang kind of balance. I know we are taught that selfishness is evil, but I’m not sure that is correct. I think love of self is just as important as the love for others. But, like all things, when carried to obsessive extremes it becomes harmful.