April 25, 2006

• Shared Guidance

  
  

   

  
  

  When we commit to be in a relationship with someone and want to walk through this world together with this person as a couple, we should not insist on doing things our way or settle for doing things the other person’s way.  We want the other person to be happy and fulfilled as much as we desire happiness and fulfillment for ourselves.   The relationship is a “we” space and not an ”I” space. 

  
  

   

  
  

  In the “we” relationship, direction comes from the guidance of both people.  We no longer make decisions based on what is good for us alone.  It has to be good for the other person too.  We don’t deny our individual needs to meet the partner’s needs (become co-dependent) nor do we insist on meeting our own needs at the expense of our partner (become selfish and self-centered).  It requires more than denial or indulgence.  Neither narrow, self-interest nor self-sacrifice.  It requires that the needs of both people be addressed.  “We” cannot and does not mean either self-betrayal or the betrayal of the partner.  “We” means honoring both people at the same time. 

  
  

   

  
  

  When was the last time you make a decision in an “I” space that erodes the trust in your relationship? 

  
  

   

  • 7:20 am
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